Fresh Start

A month from today, I will be joining the Israeli Defense Forces.  Slowly, slowly, it has begun to sink in that despite the fact that this is my dream, I am about to give up my life and my free will for the next two years.  When I am released from the army, I will be 25.  That's really old.  And though people tell me that it isn't that old, and I have my whole life ahead of me, I can't  help but panic a little bit.  My friends in America will be in law school, or med school, or will be climbing the ladder in the work world.  I'm going to have to start from scratch and decide what I want to do with my life.  I'm trying to think like an Israeli--one step at a time.   But as hard as I try, I can't get past the idea that the next two years are going to be long and challenging and probably the hardest thing I've done so far.  

This past week has been a particularly difficult one for me and it was a slap in the face.  My garin gave me the support I needed, but I still felt isolated and alone.  I've only been here for 2 months!  We're all still learning a lot about each other, and figuring out what each person needs.  All I wanted was to be at home in America with my friends.  Though I reached out to my friends in America and some of them responded with texts and calls and emails, some of my closest friends have barely responded.  It was because of this that I realized that I need to jump into this thing head first.  Its not that I want to forget my American friends, because I love them dearly (really...I love you guys to the moon and back) but they aren't going to be here.  They won't be able to hug me, or go out with me for my birthday.  They can't sit with me when I'm sad, and they can't just pick up the phone to call like it's nothing.  I live in Israel, now.  I need to focus on building my life here, and make all of my decisions based on what I want as opposed to my relationships with family, friends, and loved ones. (Even though those are obviously important, too).

This is a fresh start.  For me, this week helped me realize a lot of things, though it will take time to get used to them.   Garin Regba is my family, Moshav Regba is my home, and the army is my life for the next two years.  I can't wait to begin my two year service in the army, and there are no other people I would rather go through it with than with my Garin. 

-Arielle Adler